Unknown-1My friends had a barbecue this weekend in observance of the Memorial Day holiday, and I got a lot more out of it than just good food and tasty beer.

Racism was the topic of discussion and with a mixed crowd of white Americans, black Americans, Romanians, Asian-Costa Rican – a little bit of everything – things got interesting.

We talked about the usage of the “N” word, America’s history of oppression, slavery, and discrimination in today’s society, the usual patterns of race relations. And of course, I stood my ground, sticking to guns and not budging when my opinion differed from others. Unexpectedly, my demeanor softened as soon as I talked to a Romanian actor, another guest at the party, about his views on America’s issue of race and discrimination.

My first thought “What can he teach me about race in America that I don’t already know?” And, I must humbly admit that I couldn’t have been more wrong.

He told me a story about how before coming to America, he wasn’t versed in our issues with race and didn’t understand why it was such a big deal. His black American friends recommended a few historically black films for him to watch in order to help educate him in this subject. He watched everything from Amistad to Selma, but it didn’t really hit home for him until he saw 42.

That’s right. 42.

Seeing racism in a context as simple as a baseball game really got to him. Whites Only signs, racist baseball players and seeing the hardships that the Robinson family had to endure put everything in perspective for him.Unknown

He said, “you might be able to fix the problem politically and legally through genius activists like Dr. King, but the real problem must be solved in the heart.”

Oh. Em. Gee.

Someone who’s not from this country just called bullsh*t on everything that we’ve been fighting for over the past multi-decades. Maybe, just maybe, we’ve been taking the easy road in a sense; passing laws and bills to set the parameters around acceptable behavior instead of flipping the switch on what hate we have in our hearts, and simply doing better.

According to my new Romanian friend, it’s all about choices.

And in reference to his new cultural fave, 42: because Jackie Robinson chose to keep his cool, history changed.

Can you imagine having that type of impact on the world?

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Ashley Rey is a young, single mom residing in Los Angeles, by way of Detroit. She blogs about her life’s experiences on her personal site, bashinla.com, and is also a contributor for HipHopBattle.com where she writes on topics ranging from racism in America to Hip-Hop “Think” pieces. You can find her on instagram and twitter @bashinla, and keep up with she and her 22-month-old son by watching her weekly recap vlogs on YouTube at www.youtube.com/user/bashinlavlog.