This has been extremely hard for me to write.

My heart is heavy – I get a dry lump in my throat each time I try to talk about it.

After seeing what the effects of hatred can lead someone to do, I’m hopeful that the rest of America will finally believe that we’re not crying wolf.

Racism still exists.

The murderer (whom shall not be named) walked into a historically black place of worship and deliberately took 9 precious lives. Not because he was mentally ill, not because he had too much to drink, not because the music was too loud, not because he felt threatened, but because he hated black Americans. He hated the color of their skin for pathetic reasons, and believed that his life was far more valuable than his bible study mates.

He forced his way into a beautiful, AME church with the intent to kill black people.

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Credit Clockwise from top left: David Goldman/AP; Jeffrey Collins/AP; Leigh Thomson/Southern Wesleyan University, via AP; David Goldman/AP (2); Grace Beahm/The Post and Courier, via AP; Adam Ferrell/The Post And Courier, via AP; Anita Brewer Dantzler, via AP

He prayed with our elders and listened to testimonials of how good God’s grace is. He was welcomed into a safe haven for many, and willfully murdered our relatives.

His only mission was to “kill black people”. His hope was to start a “race war”.

Silly rabbit – we’re already in a racial war. 200+ years strong.

 

I tried not to watch the news when the story initially broke. I knew that I couldn’t stomach it. I couldn’t escape it, however; Charleston was everywhere.

But the murderer’s hate didn’t trigger me to write this piece – I’m fully aware that racism is real – but rather that those broadcasting on the airwaves refuse to tell the public the truth.

“This was a terrorist attack on Americans.”

“He hated Christians.”

“He was mentally ill and originally intended on shooting up a local college.”

One media outlet even went as far as searching for the murderer’s only “black friend” to declare that he wasn’t a racist, but hated “everyone”.

No.

This was blatant hatred fueled by ignorance and fear of losing control. This was a hate crime. There’s no need for further investigation.

But even with proven facts and direct quotes from the murderer, the media still tries to masks the truth. It’s disgustingly disrespectful.

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A scene from a vigil at Morris Brown African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, S.C., for the victims. Credit Travis Dove for The New York Times

I’m hoping that Charleston opens the eyes of many, if the other current events haven’t already. I’m hoping that everyone – black, white, purple and green – sees the attack in Charleston for exactly what it is, a hate crime, and isn’t brainwashed into believing what the media wants you to.

Isn’t it funny how most of us know the murderer’s name, but can’t remember the names of the victims?

Isn’t even funnier how we know Rachel Dolezal’s government but can’t recall the name of the 14-year-old young woman who was manhandled at an end of year pool party by some pig?

 

I’m no sheep – Quit trying to “shepherd” me.

 

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Ashley Rey is a young, single mom residing in Los Angeles, by way of Detroit. She blogs about her life’s experiences on her personal site, bashinla.com, and is also a contributor for HipHopBattle.com where she writes on topics ranging from racism in America to Hip-Hop “Think” pieces. You can find her on instagram and twitter @bashinla, and keep up with she and her 2-year-old son by watching her weekly recap vlogs on YouTube at www.youtube.com/user/bashinlavlog.